WWU First Year Blog - Homesick, or sick of home?

by Zach | 30 October 2006 12:40 PM

Before I write whatever it is I am about to write, let it be known that I am incredibly tired, and as such cannot be trusted to maintain a consistent level of maturity, eloquence, or grammer throughout my blog.

Moving on. I decided to talk about something less...controversial today. I feel badly that I received such strong responses about the difficultly of classes; it was not my intent to offend, but merely to be honest. I hope that people realize that I am not a egostical prick bent on using my platform to display my greatness, or some such thing, but rather a freshman guy, sitting in his dorm, trying to think of something entertaining to write about while retaining a certain degree of sincerity and applicability. As it turns out, I'm as human as anyone else - I just happen to have an official blog thing. Awesome.

Well, I suppose I haven't really moved on yet. Let's do that. Let's talk about my family. I have a mom, dad, brother, grandma, and cat that each have distinct roles in my life (which are not represented by the order of the aforementioned list, by the way). I care about my family. We're pretty close knit. However, I don't think I have even once truly missed being home, barring the food and my queen-sized bed. I forget to call, even just to say hello. I rarely take time to care about the problems I left behind. I suppose it just frustrates me. I was looking forward to college in that I could move away from my family, absolutely, and I am enjoying the freedom immensely; at the cost of being near my family, though, it doesn't always seem worth it.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" - I have no idea who said that, and I doubt I even quoted it correctly, but it also strikes a shallow chord. Sometimes, absence just makes you forget.

Don't get me wrong - this is completely my fault. I accept the blame for this one. My parents don't know my schedule. I should bethe one calling, or e-mailing, or whatever. There is no excuse other than the life of a college kid. I'm busy. Being busy, though, is a crap excuse to get out of anything.

I'm not going home until Thanksgiving (though I do see my parents this weekend for the Really Big Weekend thing). It will be nice to be reminded of what I'm missing, so that I don't have to worry about forgetting. That, and lots of really good food and sleeping on a queen-sized bed. Sentimentality needs not ruin luxury.

posted in Adjustment

2 Comments

home
by Sarah | 30 October 2006 8:05 PM
I think that leaving home is a really strange process in a lot of ways. And I use the word, process, for a reason. For me, I haven't really been homesick since I've gotten here. Even though my family is "close-knit" in a lot of ways, I've always been pretty independent so taking care of myself and being responsible isn't really an adjustment. However, there have been a few moments this quarter where I've suddenly been desperate to see the face of a really good friend or just a glimpse of my hometown. I miss the stability that familiar things bring. And that feeling comes at odd moments. Even though it's amazing how quickly you can adjust to being somewhere else with different things filling up your day, when I go back home, I'm also really aware of what I am missing. It does get harder to remember to do things like checking in with family back home but eventually you do realize how good it can feel to know that you've got people behind you all the time even though they're not with you at the moment.
missing family
by Melissa | 31 October 2006 9:59 PM
I completely agree with your thoughts, Zach and Sarah. I've been home twice, and I have to say that I've found it so strange that I miss my family when I'm with them but I don't really miss them when I'm at school.
My mind tells me that I must logically "miss" my family because I'm physically absent from the everyday events and interactions that I know are going on without me. I know that I "miss" my best friends who are at school in California because I'm not seeing them every day, and weekly phone conversations rarely go past the catching-up of notable events in our lives and we miss out on the daily funny moments or trials that reveal each other's personalities. But, I have to admit that "maintaining" a relationship is much less emotionally taxing than striving to feed a "growing" relationship, in the way of friends at least.
Being at college, I found that my emotional isolation is a comfortable place! Sure, I enjoy talking to each of my family members on the phone once or twice a week and hearing what they're up to, but I don't ever feel emotionally depressed about not being around them. When I went home, however, I was an emotionial wreck! I think that since I've been deprived of the little daily moments for so long, I was hoping that they'd satisfy my secure memory of life as it had always been at home. But if they don't happen, it's hard! It's hard to go back and see your room different for lack of inhabitation (except for the shoes that have migrated (with the help of my mom) from the corners of the house to a pile on my floor). I was amazed at how my emotions overpowered my logic when saying goodbye: I know that it's only for 2 or 3 weeks every time, but I still cried with every hug! Go figure.
Yeah, so, in conclusion ;), it's hard to go home, because that's when your emotions catch up with you. Going through college life independently and telling your parents what you want to tell them is easy. Which is better? Where's the proper balance? I don't know yet. It's uncharted territory for all of us, and the degree of the necessity of family communication is different for everyone. An adjustmnent, for sure.

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